Merkavah - Drive the Lord's SUV!

Mixing myself one of my special martinis... replacing Hendrick's with Bombay cause I can't afford Hendrick's, enjoying the night breeze. Bombay is a vastly inferior gin, despite all the full-page spreads it gets in magazines.

There are times when I hate nights like these, when I can't think of anything but similar nights where I'd be still up doing stupid shit with friends, and thinking about how much I miss the ones who've gone and how much I miss the times we had and the stupid shit we did. About times across the globe, in London, Paris, Hong Kong, Toronto, San Diego... oh San Diego. Sprawled out somewhere with friends in a heap of good vibes and friendly weather. And missing it... usually. Wondering where those times went, and why they had to go.

But right now I'm content. Maybe it has something to do with having finished the term or maybe it doesn't... but I'm looking out with the city sprawled around me and I'm thinking of those memories with fondness, hoping that wherever death takes us it's an eternal realization of the best times of our lives, that we appear as we did in the best times of our lives and do the things we did at the best times of our lives.

And for moments I can actually believe it, and it calms my soul.

...

I meant to clean the apartment today, but I got sidetracked by a number of things... so I suppose I'll have to do it tomorrow. Vacuuming at this time of night would probably not be appreciated by the neighbours. I should read through a friend's thesis that he had the kindness to send to me (since I'm really interested in it) and write something I've been meaning to work on for ages on my free time. My neighbours are being loud, sounds like a girl's night... in. Good for them.

I should really do all those things... but right now I just want to drink my martini and savour this feeling. So I shall.

Oh yes. I almost forgot... the recipe to my martinis:
3 parts Hendrick's Gin
1 part Stoli vodka
Coat the glass with dry vermouth
Shake the gin and vodka (preferably chilled) over ice, pour into glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon.

They're called "Johann in a Blue Dress." Not my choice of name, obviously.

Posted by Johann Kwan at 01:59 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

A few notes to people in the last few days:

Dear Prof. Darby,
Your class was quite easily the best I've had in five years of University. All kinds of stimulating brain bending, huzzah.

Dear person in a beat up Toyota driving in front of me on Colonel By with the backwards baseball cap on top of a bandana,
Your fashion sense aside and the fact that your beat up sedan had a chin spoiler and an enlarged muffler... which were both hideous... learn to drive. You nudge the gas in apex of a corner, not the brake. Especially not when you're travelling only at 60 km/h.

Dear RX-8 owner in the library parking lot,
Your spoiler is humongous and your lowered suspension must be hell on these potholed Ottawa roads. That said, nice car.

Dear Prof who assigned a 20-30 page take-home exam,
... it's a take-home exam, not a term paper. I mean, I loved your class, but at this point in the year my brain is fried. I've just written 7 papers in the last few weeks... you expect that much work out of me in a week? I think my brain just gave up. I was hanging onto my will to live this term until now.

Dear person with a cute bum having a cigarette on the corner of Gladstone and Bank,
Keep it up. The bum, I mean.

Dear nerdy friends,
You want me to play D&D with you/GM a game? Joy of joys, I need a break from reality after this month of endless essays.

Dear Prof. Stratton,
The fact that you were a grunge kid from the Seattle scene that is now an amazing professor makes you possibly the coolest person ever.

Dear martini glasses I have at home,
I'll come back to you in a week when the term is finally over, I promise.

Love,
Me

Posted by Johann Kwan at 09:27 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Melancholy.

Is death terrible? Or is it just sad for those around the dead? Is there something beyond it, or is this it?

Posted by Johann Kwan at 03:27 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)