awordonromance
Finally, a reprieve from work... I caught a nap today, my first real sleep in weeks.
If there's one thing missing from my life I had when I was younger... it's the notion of Hollywood romance. Romance itself is wonderful but the notion that two people can meet and fall in love... ahhh.
I think back and it seems like that's how all of my great relationships... the ones that lasted, the ones that mattered... it's how they started. We may not have gotten together till much later, explored the depths of friendship first, and then fallen into it much later... but we knew way before that we were in love. It could've been something so simple as a touch, a glance across a room, but we knew.
What is it about youth that makes that kind of connection so much stronger? Or is it that, being jaded and having for so long shut out the very idea of romance (in my life, anyway) I've completely missed the signs?
That's what scares me in this concept... that I can no longer recognize love when it comes knocking, that I may have missed such opportunities because I've so thoroughly excised it from my life that I'm ... well, that oblivious idiot who just doesn't get it anymore, that the only cue that can set me off is a signpost the size of Texas or a lewd invitation... which is obviously not in the least bit the sort of thing I'm referring to. Or, I have so removed my personality and moral code from that of normal people that I don't just *click* with someone... but I refuse to believe that.
It doesn't prevent me from seeing it in other people, certainly. I spoke to an old friend today who, before I had even introduced them to someone, I knew would fall deeply in love. When they did finally meet they clicked... it was obvious and wonderful and it's that sort of thing that makes me delightfully happy. And if I can see it in other people surely I can see it in myself... or when someone feels that way about me?
Or maybe not. I hope I haven't lost that... I really do. Life would just lose so much of its meaning and delight otherwise.