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July 29, 2006

drivetastic

Driving through a storm is one hell of a way to spend the day. Today's been pretty awesome... I've got romantic Romanov-era esque music whistling through my head right no from the amount of thoughts I've had going through me.

Plus, watching Corpse Bride and other things.

Say Kelly this morning at around 5:30, which rocked. Haven't seen her in ages, I've missed that girl. A few hours of awesome and great food. Good times.

It's good to know that I'll have great friends around even when a great deal of people are leaving this year. =)

Anyway, Sin City's on the telly and I love that movie, so I'll be chillaxin' with that. I'll likely be doing what I do whenever I'm home here in Toronto... writing stories and listening to classical albums. Yum.

Cheers!

July 28, 2006

whatiswrong

What is wrong with me right now? I'm writing miserable stories, reading back episodes of Questionable Content, listening to The Cure, and being absolutely emo... finishing the last half of my bottle of vodka.

Half a litre of vodka in the shortest amount of time I can think of.

At least, shortest amount of time I can think of now.

My stories have sucked so much lately. It's upsetting the way my fiction's just gone down this hole since... well... I'd like to say college, but I think it's just been that high school thing and heartbreak and all that jazz.

Nothing really feels anywhere near as bad... I suppose. The loss of one extreme emotion leads to the loss of the other.

And so my writing blows nuts.

Eh. Vodka will help. Back to that, I suppose.

Maybe it's everyone leaving. *sighs* I should just go out in Toronto and get laid this weekend. Morose sex fixes everything.

July 25, 2006

ihatesummer

I think I've killed over 60 flies today. And they keep coming! WHAT THE FUCK!?

I fucking hate summer.

July 24, 2006

iamagodking

I know this won't be of much interest to anyone, but I fixed my computer. This pretty much explains what happened...

Major props to this blogger for saving my sorry ass.

[06:56:06] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: I figured out what it is.
[06:56:13] Demon Child: kazaa?
[06:56:36] Demon Child: or any other p2p file transfering system.
[06:56:43] Demon Child: perhaps?
[06:56:44] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: Nope. I figured out what it is.
[06:56:51] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: My HD is running in PIO mode.
[06:57:15] Demon Child: heh
[06:57:38] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: FUCKING SHIT.
[06:57:53] Demon Child: not getting any better?
[06:58:54] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: Gotta do a complicated stupid process.
[06:58:57] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: http://neodon.blogspot.com/2006/07/little-known-tweak-to-boost-hard-drive.html
[07:00:54] Demon Child: interesting.
[07:01:02] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: I fucking hate Windows.
[07:01:33] Demon Child: that's Devilsoft for you. lol
[07:01:59] Demon Child: looks like you will be a Mac'er for sure now. ;)
[07:02:11] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: Gotta kill Trillian for now, hold on.
[07:02:21] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: will talk later if this works.
[07:02:25] Demon Child: kj
[07:13:33] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: OH FUCK YEAH
[07:13:35] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: I AM A GOD KING.
[07:13:50] Demon Child: I see you didn't fuck anythign up. ;)
[07:13:54] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: FUCK YEAH.
[07:14:10] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: almost did though
[07:14:14] Demon Child: lol
[07:14:16] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: I was so tired I almost edited to wrong key
[07:14:25] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: well I actually did
[07:14:37] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: thank god I still had the sense to back up my registry before I played with it
[07:14:46] Demon Child: gj
[07:15:19] Demon Child: sort of like playing video games, always save before you set out for a dfficult task.
[07:15:42] johannkwan.com - Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici: hahaha, something like that.

July 23, 2006

stoodup

I think I've been stood up more times by Janet than by people I've actually been romantically involved with. Weird.

That girl is loco.

But for some reason no one can stay mad at her. =)

bloodymorning

Bloody effin' hell. It's morning already.

I spent the night re-reading V for Vendetta before watching the film.

Now it's bloody 7 in the morning, I think I'm going to get some coffee and wait till nightfall to hit the sack.

It's too bad the film doesn't make any Catullus references. I always admired the intelligence behind the graphic novel, but it's been dumbed down for audiences in the film.

Which is not to say it's a bad movie, it's probably the most faithful rendition of a graphic novel since Sin City. It's still pretty bloody great.

Except you don't really get the feeling as you do in the comic that it could happen in reality. Simple degeneration and all that. But still... great film.

July 22, 2006

canadadayphotos

Sorry these took so long, but I had to make sure The Charlatan wasn't doing a Canada Day article and would want these for publication.

25,000 people on Parliament, whee.

NOTE: Right-click and View Image in Mozilla Firefox for higher resolutions.

Canaday Day In Ottawa

Sparks Street crowd.
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Uhm, wtf?
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Some Michael Jackson lookalike who could play guitar really well.
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Crowd down Rideau.
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Some people who own a sweet window overlooking the Market.
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cd06.jpg
Picture by Hadas. Me holding up a Toronto Appreciation Day banner.
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Thanks to this guy. Mister Toronto
cd08.jpg
Fireworks.
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cd10.jpg
cd11.jpg
cd12.jpg
cd13.jpg
cd14.jpg
cd15.jpg
The crowd in front of Parliament clogging up the streets during the fireworks.
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Don't forget, everyone: Toronto loves you. Even you, Ottawa, with all your Toronto hating and Leafs bashing.

July 20, 2006

moralcompass

Oh yeah. Still busy, so I won't bother making long diatribes...

For those of us keeping track of Bush's moral compass:

Starting wars and killing thousands = Thumbs up
Killing embryos for stem cell research = Thumbs down

Listen to Bush talk like the idiot he is.

"This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others, it crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect. So I vetoed it."

Source: BBC News

Who the fuck applauds a veto decision? And catcalls?

*applause* "Say it again Georgie boy! You're a rock star! I love you!"

kidsarecrazy

Narf.

Check it out. I'm not writing much more right now, since I've other things to be doing.

Go here for news reports that aren't censored to further Western ignorance. It's basically news from Israel and Lebanon, reports from both sides.

Kids are crazy.

Other episodes here

lebanon1.jpg

lebanon2.jpg

"From Israel and Daniele." How lovely.

July 18, 2006

bushgetscaught

Check this out.

This is hilarious. In a sad, sad way.

July 17, 2006

trippinout

I got Milkdrop, the old Winamp visualization, working with Foobar2000 today. I had totally forgotten Milkdrop till now.

First thing I did after I got it installed was put on Pink Floyd's Momentary Lapse of Reason.

Now I'm just dazed. I need a cigarette. Stupid quitting.

sitrep

Situation in Israel update:

So, I'm getting back into the grind of things. Bluesfest is over, I just need to write up the article sometime tonight and I'll be set.

It would be worth my time pointing out some things about the situation in Israel at the current moment, and my thoughts about it.

Firstly, relief. Holy mother of god relief.

"Israel has also been buoyed by the mild reaction of Arab governments, who have not come to Hezbollah’s defense — not even Syria and Iran. Israel was also pleased by a statement from the Saudi government on Thursday that blamed Hezbollah for adventurism and called on it to end the crisis."

Source:The New York Times

*silent hoorahs* The last thing we need is for war to break out across all of the Middle East at the current moment. The fact that neither Syria nor Iran are doing all that much is extremely comforting.

As far as the morality of the situation at hand... I've already made a long post about the Gaza. It's worth saying that Gaza civilians were kidnapped by the Israelis before Cpl. Shalit was in turn captured by Hamas... but this post won't deal with the Gaza too much. We're talking Lebanon.

That's not to say we're not going to talk about the morality. Let's think about it this way first. The attacks on Lebanon (and the Gaza) were preceded by the kidnapping of Israeli soldiers. This is a fact that is rather frequently expoused by the mainstream media. What is not talked about, however, is the fact that those kidnappings were preceded themselves by the kidnapping of civilians.

To quote Chomsky: "If there's a conflict going on, aside physical war, not in a military conflict going on, abduction -- if soldiers are captured, they are to be treated humanely. But it is not a crime at the level of capture of civilians and bringing them across the border into your own country. That's a serious crime. And that's the one that's not reported. And, in fact, remember that -- I mean, I don’t have to tell you that there are constant attacks going on in Gaza, which is basically a prison, huge prison, under constant attack all the time: economic strangulation, military attack, assassinations, and so on. In comparison with that, abduction of a soldier, whatever one thinks about it, doesn't rank high in the scale of atrocities."

I'm not pinning the blame squarely on Israel, however. The conflict has raged on so far that it isn't possible for me to pin blame on any one party. After all, each atrocity has been preceded by corresponding ones ad infinitum. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, as the saying goes.

Don't even get me started on this 'oh noes, Hezbollah's been firing rockets into Israel!'... come on. You don't think Israel hasn't been firing back over the last while with much more sophisticated artillery? Hezbollah's terror weapons used to consist purely of Katysha's, ancient Russian things they used to call Stalin organs.

Their newest arsenal looks something like this... and is supplied by Iran. Before you start ranting on about Iran as part of the whole axis of evil bullcrap, let's not forget that arms-dealing has been practised by just about everyone. Let's not get high and mighty. Iran hasn't yet offered their support to Hezbollah, and we should be bloody glad about that.

Doesn't make it right, of course, to be supplying weapons to them with the obvious knowledge of what they intend to do with them, but if you ask me to cite precedent, just about every arms-producing nation has been, and will continue to be, doing just that.

Returning back to that weapon, however... you get this slight tingle of terror every time you look at it. As well as more than a bit of laughter. The supposition that such weapons will ever compete with Israel's formidible air-force and armour divisions seems ridiculous. But the intention is, after all, terror, and they have been doing that well enough... Israel's reponse thus far has been to bring the terror to them, to try and prove that they cannot be trifled with.

I don't think it's the right call. Morally speaking, you're sinking to their level. Without going into morals, however, it's just practically insane. The oppression of a people lends more towards such acts of idiocy and desperation than otherwise, and doesn't help what you're trying to do. More than that, they're terrorists. They don't really *actually* care about the people whose freedoms their fighting for. Every civilian that dies becomes another martyr in their heads, and they just fight harder.

And the Western world is noticing, for once. The impotence of the Security Council still prevents the UN from taking action, but the latest UN Resolutions have only been voted against by the United States, Israel's strongest supporter and puppetmaster.

That says something. Perhaps not enough, but it certainly says something.

Anyway, I'd go on and on, but it looks like it might finally rain. I'm going to go out and enjoy it, since that'll mean the temperature dropping drastically. Thank god.

I'll leave you with one last thought. Over a hundred Lebanese have died since this started. (and what, 8 Canadians?) Considering the speed with which this air offensive was put into action, that's not all that high. Yet Israel has the deadliest, most precise air force in the middle east. They've definately been hitting civilian targets (including the Beirut aeroport)... is it fair to punish an entire populace for the actions of a few?

July 13, 2006

ohfuckingchrist

The Israelis bombed the aeroport in Beirut.

Fucking christ.

July 12, 2006

ohdearnotagain

So yeah. Bluesfest has been excellent thus far. But really, I wanted to post something about this, which I read about this morning and have been digging into:

Israel invades Lebanon

Instead of one of my patented super-long rants about Israel and the Middle-East...

Don't tell me I didn't warn ya.

July 11, 2006

friendsaregreat

Friends are great. Thanks G-Factor.

givemepeace

I wrote something. Call it fiction if you want. Some of it might be. Who knows. I don't.

"How're you doing?"

"Could be better."

The man stepped inside the building without a further word. A neighbour, I suppose, but I did not know him. He was visibly flustered by this sudden bout of honesty.

It left me sitting there, in front of the building, finishing stub of my cigarette, pondering this sudden wave of honesty.

It hadn't been the best night for me, that is of no doubt. I had gone to the gas station across the street to buy cigarettes to rectify this small problem.

I had cried, for the first time in years.

It's not enough to say that my behavior was simply honest. I tended to be honest whenever I could. People often shied from my brutal honesty, preferring rather to hear what they thought best about themselves. But this was me. I was being honest about myself.

I haven't done that in a long time.

Perhaps the only mitigating factor in all of humanity is the desire for change. For unpredictability, for something truly new. I have none of that.

I will be honest now and say that my life has truly changed, despite what I might tell my therapists, my friends, my confidants. My situations have changed. People look upon me and believe that I've lived a life of middle-class luxury.

Not the case. No one, not even my younger brother, realizes the inexorbitant amount of effort I have gone through the mend a collapsing family. Years spent apart. Things left unsaid.

Yet, that isn't what troubles my dreams when I sleep.

I suffer from what some might call prescience and ultimately... relentless logical intelligence. I am, unfortunately, constantly aware of what will precipiate from my actions.

And I can do nothing to change them.

That is, perhaps, why I've neglected to act upon anything. There is no drive to do anything whatsoever when ones future is already written. I have approached cusps, where it feels as though I can break through to the unknowable, the realm by which I can choose my own destiny, but every time I shy away and wallow in the directionless hole I have dug myself into.

Directionless. My standings in school have plummeted since I've lost all interest. I learn more in the span of an hour nestled with book and a cigarette than I could hope to glean from a classroom, but that isn't really the issue. It's that I simply... do not care.

I want a world in which I can choose my destiny. Where each and every action is simply unpredictable.

I fear it too. While my life in this self-fulfilling hole is mind-numbingly boring, it's stability. Human beings by nature fear instability.

I suppose that's why I've spent most of my life, where I've not just simply tried my best to destroy myself to escape from it all, in the assistance of others. I have a need for there to be change dictated in some way by myself, however small. Some sort of effect not governed by my fate.

And because I love them.

Nothing changes. The essential core of what I know to be simply doesn't change. Shit still happens when I know they will.

I don't see a point to self-motivation, to improve my... so called future... when I'll simply be living the same old existence. Even collapsing in a gutter somewhere would be some sort of change for me. Expected, certainly, but it will still be a sort of change.

I practice a mean form of escapism. My mind is not so relentless in its logical faculties when I engage in extreme acts of self-destruction. Drinking oneself to oblivion often does the trick, however temporarily.

And its in these moments when things start getting interesting. Things become unpredictable. I might find out only about consequences weeks, months later.

But I cannot maintain a life of constant inebriation. The effect simply upon the memory makes it less a sort of living than dying for a while.

So many religions, so much of human effort has been devoted to the mastery of ones future. I want that, in a way that contradicts that same statement. I don't want to know everything that's going to happen. I want to be able to make choices and see things change as they go along.

And so yes, I cried today. A brief moment, two seconds in which I allowed myself to reflect that my life has sunk into an utter pit. I might say that I'm too smart for my own self. I just don't want to have a destiny laid out before me. I've been avoiding it since I realized it was there.

My friend told me that the world needed my gift. My curse. It sounds like a bloody corny super-hero movie, I know. But I don't want it. I've lifted responsibility off my own shoulders where I could. I held a dying man in my arms once. Once was enough. I don't want that kind of dominion over the lives of others, for better or for worse. I want my own life. Something I can control, something that's not simply laid out before me.

I want to live life! Take chances! I want every moment of my life to be something new, something I can savour. Is that so much to ask?

July 09, 2006

morebluesfest

Ottawa Bluesfest is turning out pretty spectac. Press passes are the best invention since the printing press, really.

Though I can't get up near the main stage for more than three songs. It's too bad... I'm typing this now watching Ani DiFranco on a TV right across from the laptop I'm using in City Hall.

I'm debating just joining the boys behind the fence for Wilco, instead of using the fancy photographer's aisle that will get me through three songs only. I doubt I'll be sending in Wilco photos for the Charlatan anyway... solo artists make easier photos.

Which is all too bad, really, I'd really like to see a Wilco photo on the Charlatan.

I'll probably be hanging out some more with Jake Shimabukuro later on tonight after Ani and such. It'll be a blast. He's quite a cool dude. Tried to get me into the Gold VIP area, hehe.

This laptop service is nice. Air conditioning, shows on the telly, and I can blog direct from here without ever having to bring my own equipment. Now if only I could upload photos.

I really can't upload too many photos till I know which ones the Charlatan are using, after all. They get first dibs on my Bluesfest photos. Which is totally okay, because Liz got me a press pass, after all. that's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

I mean, I know it's her job, but she still went out of her way to get it for me. She's pretty damned fabulous.

Moo. Really, right about now I really want a cigarette. Trying to quit still, of course. And I d I on't have any on me, despite being at concerts all day rather than inside. It's a good thing, in a way. But nicotine withdrawal is pretty lame. By pretty lame, I mean really bloody lame. LAME.

On the other hand, I got to see Jake Shimabukuro play twice. TWICE. Fabtabulous. He's truly amazing. Though I've said it before, it bears repeating, he's a fabulously nice guy too.

In other news of Johann, apparently I did something with someone when I was really drunk. I don't remember a bloody bit of it, so I can only assume that it happened. After all, I *was* really drunk. Things happen when one is really drunk. Many things. =)

I doubt I'll have to deal with much fallout though, so it's really troubling me too much. I'm probably going to jet to another stage eventually, I've had my fill of Ani for now. She's great, but you know, the crowd of lawnchairs just stretches back so bloody far.

Oh wait, I kinda have to meet Jake after the Ani show. Hmm. Well I'll go do that, I think it's her last song. Sooooo, cheers blog readers. Seriously, seriously sorry I haven't been blogging as hard as I should lately. Lots of work for the Charlatan, Bluesfest, and etc. I know, I'm giving lousy excuses, but at least they're true?

And to clarify some issues: I'm NOT anti-Israeli and CERTAINLY not pro-Hamas. I just think the entire situation in the middle east is extremely FUBAR.

July 08, 2006

bluesfest

Bluesfest. It's starting off pretty awesome.

I can't write too much about it yet, since I'm writing and shooting photos for the paper on Bluesfest.

Though I did get to play some Cutthroat pool with Jeremy Fradkin and his friends. It fucking rocked. I won!

July 05, 2006

israelandpalestine

Originally posted at Blizzforums:

Chaos, you've got it arse backwards. Saying that the US and Israeli press are not biased when it comes to Israel is inherently contradictory. It's like saying the BBC isn't biased (however slightly) towards the British. Or that Al-Jazeera isn't biased towards the interest of Arabic states. It's simply ludicrous.

The fact that Israel survives based on a large part of income through Western grants and gifts and Israeli societies scattered through diaspora only renders your argument inane, at best. People have been shouting Pro-Israeli and Pro-Arab about the press since Israel invaded Lebanon, years before I was even born.

Besides, the American press have been coloured towards screwing up everything in regards to Isreal for decades, because of a poor understanding of History. News coverage today is almost inevitably wrong.

As towards the invasion of the Gaza, the legality is of little practical issue. We've already seen countless times the abuse Article 51 of the charter of the United Nations, with just about every country in existence. Some just get away with it better.

In reality, the United Nations (and therefore the international community) does not, and will never, hold any authority concerning the welfare of Israel and Palestine. The Palestinian Authority continues to be considered a de-facto state, rather than an actual nation. Therefore the disputes have no true political arena, other than that of the words of a few good men and thousands of crooked ones. That, or the sword.

Speaking in terms of military ethics, the invasion of the Gaza is justifiable. The abduction of a single citizen, under any law, should be met with the utmost propensity towards the security of the state. The state being the embodiment of the interests of the people, any action required is thereby justified, in theory.

Of course, this theory is very Machiavellian in standing and not completely justifiable, especially in relation to the status of Israel in the United Nations. According to international law, any member nation may not take action to respond to a threat without first conferring with the Security Council. Of course, Israel has never fully bonded to this idea (due to their need of urgency), and the recent violations (and intention to violate) by the United States of the UN charter and its own experiences in doing so (backed by the United States) have certainly emboldened her to do whatever necessary in her own defense.

For a quick look at this record, in 82, Israel invaded Lebanon in violation of the 1978 Security Council resolution ordering for Israel to withdraw. They are almost always in violation of UN 242 and the Oslo Accords (though that is debatable, on several fronts). American backing has almost always been ever present. The raid of the Osirak reactor was only responded by a slight slap of the wrist by most Western governments.

This should not be, however, a question of whether not Israel is justified in violating UN decree in their own interest at all. Those who recognize the current impotency of the United Nations (Conservatives and Liberals alike) will most certainly cry "YES" while those that remain optimistic about its effectiveness will certainly cry "NO."

The question, therefore, should be somewhat three-fold. Is the invasion of the Gaza necessary to rescue one soldier? Is there an alternate agenda? Can this sort of action by Israel be allowed to continue?

As far as the necessity, I myself cannot truely comment. It seems excessive, as Israel maintains some of the most highly trained special forces teams in the world, but the limited information coming through the press does not give a clear picture. However, I can say that the effort seems less of a rescue operation than exuberant insanity. The amount of artillery rounds already fired into the Gaza is reminiscent of President Clinton's "Let's fire missiles into Iraq and make it look good." The effect appears to be collective punishment for the abduction of a single soldier, under the ostensible excuse of suppression fire.

As for ulterior motive? Why? The universal conclusion in Israel just last year was to pull completely out of the Gaza. The Unilateral Disengagement Plan, however, is not availible to the public and therefore I cannot provide sufficient commentary. There appears to be no point, except as a show of force to the now-ruling Hamas party.

If the invasion of the Gaza Strip can be deemed to be handled rather unnecessarily, which it appears to be, then this can be lumped into the manifold acts of aggression enacted by the Israeli state. Should Israel then be reprimanded for engaging in acts of agression against a de-facto state?

This requires further investigation.

In the West, Israel's situation is considered mostly as a security issue. In these terms, Israel's commitment to show of force and the grouping of entire civilian populations with their aggressors only further engenders hatred towards themselves and escalates an already troublesome situation. The election of Hamas is evidence of this exact phenomenon.

The situation however is further advanced. The West Bank is Israel's largest source of water, and the disputed territories are some of teh most profitable areas in terms of Israeli black market goods.

The treatment of Palestine as 'a non-nation' persists throughout Israeli though and political policy. Peace with the Palestine is a very minor consideration for Israel, in contrast with what might believe to be otherwise. Countless peace offerings have been rejected since as early as '71 (Amos Elon wrote of a peace proposal propped by Sabat). The constant appeal by Israelis to portray their enemies as terrorists (while they themselves exercise unfavourable tactics, hijackings, abductions, etc) and inhuman, and unworthy of their own nation.

So the invasion into the Gaza not only perpetuates the propagandism of Israel but also allows for continuous war in the middle east, a prospect favourable to Israeli interests (economically and politically) as well as American ones. Furthermore there maintains religious implications as well as dreams of manifest destiny.

So morally speaking, is it REALLY correct for Israel to be driving around tanks everywhere? The answer is obvious. The situation, however, is so complex and nightmarish that a solution cannot be found without simply assigning blame to one party in particular, whether it be right or wrong. And for something to be done about it, which... lets be honest, nothing ever will be for quite a while.

It must be noted that the dehumanization of Arabs and Palestinians in particular has been so long in the making that we Westerners barely even care when a Palestinian girl is shot, but when one soldier is kidnapped, the entire bloody world starts talking about it. If you want to change anything about Israel and Palestine, you might want to start the change at home. The immense freedom exercised by the Israeli state should certainly be curtailed, if only in the interest of human rights. The sad thing is, no one really gives half a shit about human rights, so we'll be stuck here for a while.

trippyitalianshit

Been super busy. So instead of doing anything important pr posting anything really good... I'll post a music video I saw at Avant Garde, a Russian bar here. It's Italian. It's fucking trippy.

More info: Adriano Celentano

July 03, 2006

omfgheartbeatskipthrice

There was a Lambo Murcielago Roadster in front of this club. Barrymore's. Where I go to pick up women.

Can I compete? No.

Do I want that car? YES.

The top was down and everything... omfg. Cars are more exciting than sex. Seriously.

About $300K USD worth of pure excitement. *drools*