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I have a new goal to listen to the end of albums more. I've found that as I listen to an album, I get lost in it and I lose attachment to the world, and I don't actually hear the lyrics of the songs near the end, mayhaps only the emotions. I'm going to make a concerted effort to start albums from the middle on occasion now.
Mmm... music.
I'm going to rant a bit to warm up my fingers for essay writing. Because you know, I slack off way too much... I just hope I don't tire myself out.
Here we go. I warn you of rapid-fire thoughts and switches of subjects.
Morrissey. Damn... Morrissey. The man can write lyrics to make a grown man kneel down in remembered pains and threaten anyone's emotional sanity. My tear ducts have long since dried up, jaded by my past and my wild mood swings... yet Morrissey focuses so much emotion in me, recalls so many scenes of my foolish youth I'd sooner forget, that the corners of my eyes twitch unbearably. How is it that he can be so truthful, so honest? It cuts to the very core of me. I want to curl up in a ball in the corner of my room and just stay there forever.
I confess often of centrism, despite being very clearly leftist near the point of extremity in my views. But I have good reasons to. Sometimes extremism is a sort of unacceptable faith, one must have a logical basis for their politics. Painting your views with one broad brush is stupid. Utterly and completely stupid.
I once had a heated argument with someone over Michael Moore. They believed him to be some sort of saint. I have to say that Moore is neccessary, a sort of balance to an uneven equation in a world where people like Ann Coulter exist. But he fights with half-truths and scandals, and like all such people on both sides trip lightly over things that would not help their argument, never mentioning them even once. Doesn't mean I have to like him. Nor do I have to like people like... well... Hillary Clinton, for example. And people who see these as the prime examples of the average lefty just anger me. It's like saying I think every right-winger is like Ann Coulter. Though there are some. I've even seen t-shirts on sale online with her face on them and quotes from her advocating a large-scale Crusade. And people listen to that kind of shit.
People blindly listen to crap... the insinuations, for example, that Iran is within several years of nuclear weaponary. They aren't. Even if they had centrifuges, calutrons, whatever they were using to refine yellowcake up, they wouldn't have enough uranium for another ten years. Media coverage and politicians make everything just worse. Everyone believes untruths. It happens with so many hot topics, so many politicians use foreign affairs for their own fun and profit.
I'm waiting for something amazing to happen to me again. The seeds of love to be sown, that sort of thing. I can't flit around, sleep with strangers... all that nonsense anymore. It isn't fulfilling. The physical enjoyment is certainly still there, but there's a hole in me that's been patched up... and now just empty space waiting to be filled once again. Rather than, of course, things just falling right into and through it.
I wonder how many people I've hurt over the years with my own emotional insecurities. I can probably count the people I've hurt in the last few years intentionally, to save myself or persons dear to me. But inadvertently? I wonder. I wonder very much. And I know it's happened, every so often. How do you apologize for something like that? Or more importantly, how do you find out?
Have I doomed myself to a life of a struggling artist? I wonder that every so often. I am not excellent, after all, at much. I am a man of many talents, I would be a fool not to recognize that, but I haven't honed any of them. And even the most talented fall into poverty and destruction. Just look at great composers. Or artists of the modern age, wasted away by their ambitions... have I doomed myself to that? I already know that all too well. There was a point where the voice of Johann Heinrich Kwan was poised to go places. Then my ambition and my folly after I moved, and my stubborn pride, refused to join lesser, incapable choirs. And where am I now but a pit, slowly killing my range with a severe lack of practise and the little white sticks with the filter tips?
And why is it that I need my vices to maintain what I reasonably call sanity? I am already withdrawing from the bulk of them, yet I am still forever drawn to them. Forever needing them.
What is it with my dreams? Some are a reality unrestricted by the filters of the four dimensions... and yet I can never see anything happy. It is only the harsh cruelties of the world that always have some truth ringing about it, and only those that actually do occur, only those that tear my life apart.
And why all these dreams of my death?
It's time I stopped ranting and tried to work.
Whee melted puddle of wax!
[20:34:28] Dave Gootman: Not bad. But you have taken way better pictures before.
[20:34:37] johannkwan.com - Kung Hei Fat Choy!: I know
[20:34:47] johannkwan.com - Kung Hei Fat Choy!: these were just cause I was like, "WHOA, puddle!"
Stupid drunken people! *hypocrisy hypocrisy* Pulling the fire alarm in the building while it's bloody windy out and I'm making lunch!
Anyway... Katy McIntyre asked me to help her make sure people vote on Wednesday and Thursday. Vote, bitches!
No really. Vote. You don't want it to end up like the federal election this year, do you?
Cheers.
Kung Hey Fat Choy!
Happy Chinese New Years and all guys. Just went out to dinner with Tim, Shannon, and Janet, and it was good times. I was dressed in my Chineseness finest.
I was right out of the shower so the hair's really wet. Hot white silk scarf not pictured.
Good conversations. On the way back:
Situation normal. In car. Lady on the radio is singing about how she didn't know the art of love till she met this guy. Johann says something about how that's a pretty big thing not to know. Tim says something about how we can't all be manwhores. Shannon says something about how she means that there's an art behind it. Johann says something about the fact that she has a great voice, and she should've learned it somewhere along the way by now. Tim goes... 'oh so that's what I've been doing wrong! I just need to take singing lessons!' Conversation ensues.
Johann: I think it's a social responsibility.
Tim: What, to sing well or to have sex?
Johann: To sleep with people that are good at stuff.
Shannon: I think Johann has developed a warped, maybe even twisted sense of community service.
[... later]
Tim: It's almost altruistic, isn't it?
Teehee.
You know, right now, all I want is to curl up next to someone again.
Is that so much to ask?
P.S. Anyone else say have a drink in honour of Mozart on his birthday? =D
My head is spinning. I'm wondering whether I should go to the Toga party at Justin et al's... or Mike's video game party... or just try to get work done...
I mean, toga would be cool. Good memories of me in a toga. "Johann To-gaaaaaa!"
*le sigh*
Those were good times.
On the other hand I'm sorta tired from having yesterday's rather full day, and I still have a lot of work to do.
Well... right now I'll listen to Joanna Newsom. Mmm... Joanna Newsom.
I'd like to get together a small get together with classical music, some wine, some cheese, lots of discussion, and bucketloads of elitism within the coming weeks. Just a few people, those ones that I know can sustain an intellectual discussion, no one else.
I hope Kelly throws that wine and cheese party sometime. Wine and cheese... mmm.
Mmm... Joanna Newsom. Such gorgeous music. Is there nothing better?
Chinese New Years' Eve tomorrow. Much eating. Also Department of Foreign Affairs, which I may or may not run off to sometime during the night, depending on what the girls want to do. That, or it'll be settling in someplace with French movies and the wine and cheese we've been saving for just that occasion.
Word. Bonnaroo lineup for this year goes up on the 1st of Febuary.
I'm excited. Totally, entirely excited. Last year was a blast.
Yesterday was pretty cool. Odd things are happening in my life, so I'm always glad to have a not-so-odd day. After class played this game in the snow... which was fun, but killed me (I need to get back into shape... haven't had any real cardio since I stopped biking to school) then went out to the NAC to try and secure Dracula tickets with Janet and Shannon.
None were left. The whole show is sold out for the next three days.
*le sigh*
So we left from there to the Art Gallery to see Janet Cardiff's exhibition, a forty-part motet which was amazing. It was a reworking of Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis, and should be at the NAC till Easter.
It's great. Forty speakers, each with an individual voice in the choir, then... sitting down in the middle you can absorb it all, or walk around and hear all the individual basses (of course, they're the most important to me, being one myself), baris, tenors, altos, sopranos... it's so good.
Worth seeing.
Then I went to Kate's! We watched the Rufus DVD and had pizza and I helped her to finish making some bread (she had done most of the work already, it was just... putting it on the baking tray and shaping it, and glazing it... and baking it! =D). It was totally fun!
Nice, fun day filled with goodies. Well worth every moment of it.
The elections of the world are poised towards destruction. Yay.
Hamas won in the Palestinian elections. Not unexpected. If I didn't know better I'd say someone was rigging elections, causing leaders to go 'out of commission' and setting up the global stage for the final showdown.
Alright everyone. You remember how I use to go on about how we're all being watched, and I hate America, allah ahkbar, muhammad jihad etc. etc. etc. and bombs and guns and as many terms as I can fit into here so Echelon will notice?
Guess who I saw on our friendly list of visitors to blog.johannkwan.com?
rnoc.ritsc-psw.navy.mil ....
YAY! US military crawler bots! Whoo hoo. Now, I'm not one to really spazz out fast, so I ran a tracert. For you computer incompetent people, I was being a hacker... NOT. Because you know, everyone thinks running simple DOS network commands constitutes hacking. It doesn't. Ran straight through Rogers, Qwest, and ended.
No surprise, since Qwest is one of the biggest telecom companies in the states, and one doesn't become that big without giving right up to the feds.
Let's look them up! Google is our friend!
IP Location: United States United States - California - San Diego - Dod Network Information Center
Reverse IP: No websites hosted using this IP address
Reverse DNS: rnoc.ritsc-psw.navy.mil
OH SHIT! Wonderful! The Department of Defense NIC!
So let's go to website!
"Use of this page and all DoD NIC services constitutes consent to monitoring"
AHEM! FUCK NO.
Let's see... let's NOT click that button! So... you want to learn about us? Let us probe your ass first... you give us your privacy and dignity, and we'll state our purpose as our government organization. But not until you do!
Wonderful.
Moral of the story is: No matter how rebellious you think you are, big brother is ALWAYS watching. Hell, it takes minutes to task a satelite to your ass. Less to just send a webcrawler to log everything about the internet for their computers to sort through!
YAY!
Way to go world.
How much of a classical music snob are you?
Test yourselves, fools. It's an easy quiz, most of them are popular pieces. Plus you should know just by listening to the style.
Did you know that the inventor of LSD turned 100 this month, and is still alive?
Crazy eh?
Am I an ass for staying up and talking to Richie about Beethoven's 7th and lying back in my total elitism?
Muß es sein?
Es muß sein.
The comedy is over.
After some work... the second half. The half I remember fondly, rather than the first.
The glorious, glorious Requiem...
Just watched the first half of Amadeus again. Damn does that movie ever annoy me.
*le sigh*
I'm going to drown myself in Mozart now to stop thinking about it.
You know... seems like no one can get enough of Final Fantasy VII.
There's a new FFVII shoot-em-up coming out in Japan called Dirge of the Cerberus. Looks vaguely amusing.
Official website is here. It's in Japanese though, so don't expect to understand it if you can't read Japanese. It's still navigable enough that you'll be able to find the trailers.
Vaguely amusing, but I'm not very impressed. Maybe just because I know the FF series as too much of an RPG... and every time RPG games have switched gears (Fallout Tactics, for example) it's flopped on its ass.
Still. The trailers are pretty and fun to watch if you were ever a fan of FFVII.
How does one write a sad song about the hound of Hades? I don't get it.
Quick fire-off of neat news.
Not-so intelligence... busted dead drop "box"... by the FSB, no less! OUCH!
Popey republishes Augustine's ideas under his own name. Just kiddin.
Google gives in to China... despite fighting for privacy rights in the United States.
You know... just sayin... there are other things in the news besides this whole Steven Harper thing. As much as it sucks.
*le sigh* I give him two years. But I don't think this has happened before, where we've had two opposing minority governments in a row. But... I could be wrong.
Today's Diesel Sweeties is the best... Canadians, Jedis, Robots, Poutines, and Politics.
Rainsberry wanted to open a bar with me. To raise the capital for that... I think I'm going to open a poutine shop in Europe. Brilliant!
Listening to music to make myself less angry and punchy.
It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
*le sigh*
Now that just makes me melancholic. Which is better than angry and punchy, I guess.
So the conservative party won. Crap.
Crap.
I at least have the solace of knowing my riding voted Liberal. Not that I voted Liberal, but my riding led with something like a 46% (preliminary) Liberal vote.
Crap crap crap crap crap.
*sigh*
The Greater Toronto area was pretty Liberal. That's a sort of comfort too.
I mean... what the hell were you all thinking? Just look at his eyes! Those are not the eyes of an intelligent person! There's nothing behind them!
*sigh*
[22:59:08] Richie Bonventre: i have one thing to say
[22:59:15] Richie Bonventre: GEORGE W FUCKING BUSH
[22:59:19] Me: yeah
[22:59:20] Me: well
[22:59:21] Me: yeah.
[22:59:27] Richie Bonventre: WELCOME TO THE FUCKING CLUB
Thanks Canada. Thanks. *sigh*
If you weren't here last night...
Well, you missed out on a lot of wine and cheese. Which is too bad really, cause it was good and I broke out some of my better wine. Of course the night degenerated eventually into vodka and uhm... vodka... but... that's rather besides the point.
We took photos. None of them turned out. Except photos I took of myself as I was waiting for people to show up. Sad, I know.
Well, maybe they might've come out okay, I'll have to look at them when my monitor isn't getting massive glare from the outside.
Silly outside.
Lying back down and listening to Charles Mingus.
Music = hangover cure. Sorta.
So apparently, over boiling cauldrons and other witchlike things last night Tim and Kelly conspired to break my heart by not coming tonight. *laughs*
Just got off the phone with Tim, a fun long chat about Life, The Universe, and Everything... and it was good.
Except that he's been breaking my heart a lot. Jerk. =D First skipping on the Narnia and now this... Bleh. I think I shall have to dump him.
I wonder who's going to show tonight, because no one's given me a definate answer but Tim and Kelly (and those were nos)... otherwise not a damned peep. Well not exactly. Most people have given non-commital answers. Except George and Joel, who definately are coming.
All the same... doesn't really matter. The Beer Store was closed by the time I got there and I had to settle for big bottles of wine instead.
Too much wine makes me bloody sick, but whatever.
I still got Baileys, Vodka, and some Guinness. I think I'm set.
So I cleaned the place, just so it'll be messed to hell again by the end of the night. Such is life.
Shame some people can't make it. Oh well.
Gotta go out and buy more alcohol.
Someone was talking to me today and said something that made me chuckle. And I'm stealing it. And using it.
"Sometimes friends have sex, you know?"
I had one of those "Oh my god you're going to make yourself bloody poor" cravings the other day, and today I found super alternatives thanks to Treehugger. Yes. I get caviar cravings... is there something wrong with that?
When we're talking caviar, real caviar, I generally have concerns about the enviroment. Sturgeons are going to be extinct sooner or later, if the rich people of the world keep up their caviar diets. So... I typically look towards farmed caviar, like the stuff you can buy at Tsar Nicoulai's (yes, I just kinda googled farmed caviar. I don't actually have the money to buy the stuff!).
Seeing as how unless someone gives caviar to me as a gift, or it's used to garnish some dish someplace fancy (at a wedding, on a cruise, or something)... I won't buy the stuff at hundreds of dollars a jar... one must look for alternatives.
Treehugger provided carp roe and vegan caviar. I'm going to go looking for some tomorrow and see what I can find.
Mmmmmm... caviar...
In other food related finds: Cook salmon filets in your dishwasher! Something I'll never try, since I like making Salmon on the grill. But cool.
Edinburgh Police Fight Crime With Games - Source: Eurogamer.net
Smartest. Idea. Ever.
That's so awesome. I wish the cops around here would throw video game contests where you could win stuff.
I could WIN stuff!
Who the hell cares about smashing in windows or whatever when you can WIN STUFF!?
I should pitch the idea to someone. What next? Police sponsored LAN tourneys? Take that, anti-videogame legislation!
Videogaming in a Kilt!
Whee!
Alright! I gotta clean up and get some stuff done today if tomorrow will be good times. And it should be.
Bloody Firefox. I mean, I love the password logging on this (it saves me a whole bloody lot of time) but when someone logs onto their e-mail account or something from here it tends to save their bloody passwords whether I say yay or nay.
I mention it because I went to GMail's website (which I normally bypass with Google Talk) and my Firefox had several people's passwords saved.
I went and removed them from my browser's history, but it confused me for a bit when I hit the Enter and I wasn't in my account. Then I had to dig through my remembered passwords lists and take them out.
Silly thing.
Brad Mehldau's adaptations of Nick Drake's songs for piano are gorgeous. Simply gorgeous.
So BBC did this article about this kid who spent 5000 pounds on pot every year and fucked his life up.
WELL DUH.
That's what... several POUNDS of marijuana a year?
We're talking damned near amounts for intent-to-open-a-commune.
Go leave your opinion. Whatever it may be.
So I was talking to G-Factor while he was waiting for his laundry...
[19:11:17] Mike Giacoma: 1 minute till my stuff is done
[19:11:22] Mike Giacoma: lol, online updates!
[19:12:26] Me: online updates of what? Laundry?
[19:12:29] Mike Giacoma: yeah
[19:12:33] Me: wtf?
[19:12:40] Mike Giacoma: http://case-asi.esuds.net/RoomStatus/showRoomStatus.do?dormId=1397
[19:12:46] Mike Giacoma: dryers 9 and 10
[19:12:49] Me: that is SO fucked up.
[19:13:01] Mike Giacoma: lol, or nice so you can check before gonig down
[19:13:09] Me: way to go lazy residence kids!
[19:13:26] Me: won't even walk downstairs to do laundry when people are doing their laundry a block or two away at laundromats!
[19:13:28] Me: that's so cool
[19:14:43] Mike Giacoma: haha
[19:14:45] Mike Giacoma: :)
[19:14:52] Mike Giacoma: that's a high tech college
[19:15:02] Mike Giacoma: shit, someone just emptied it
[19:15:04] Mike Giacoma: brb
ONLINE LAUNDRY UPDATES!?
Whoever came up with that is a GENIUS.
Too bad someone emptied it. But still. I mean, you don't even need to own a clock! Or use your brain!
This is something I've known intuitively for a while (from the hype spanning back to the Gulf War) but... here we go:
How far is Iran from having the Bomb?
Damned far.
Straight answer, with the math.
Not enough hugs nowadays.
Not nearly.
Even an online hugs are a comfort.
Giving many of them.
Receiving many too.
I like hugs.
FUCK YOU NIKON.
You've started a fucking trend and ruined my day.
FUCK YOU.
UGH!
Goddamn Nikon quitting out of the camera business. Someone bows out and Minolta figures it's not a bad time to bow out themselves.
LE CRAP!
LE FUCKING CRAP!
GODDAMN YOU NIKON!
Goddamn.
Today worked out well. Very well. I'm actually very happy about it.
I got enough reading done to lead a decent discussion group, chatted with a myriad of good folks, walked home with Kelly (it was a gorgeous night, and it turned out to be a great choice), stopped by LCBO (since I was walking by it anyway) and now I just have to finish a quiz and cook some food. Possibilities of drinking with Shannon and Hadas tonight, s'well!
I'm happy. Seeing friends puts me in a good mood.
Seth is back from London-town. As in... across the great big puddle London what with the bobbies and the Big Ben and all that jazz. He found $5 flights across Europe out of London.
My mind is still boggled as to how that's even POSSIBLE.
I mean... it costs me so bloody fucking much to BUS or TRAIN to Toronto. FLYING! For $5!
*incoherent jabbering*
Bloody impossible!
In any case... yeah. He had fun, which makes me happy. 'Specially since I've heard bad news from friends about their families and all, and my thoughts are with them always, it's always good to get happy news.
So yeah, that Osama guy released a new statement. I noticed it on the news this morning on my way out there door: Here at BBC.
That crazy guy.
I could spout off for ages but I won't.
Skinny dude escapes from prison!
I bet I could escape from jail the same way. Skinny dudes will rule this world... muhahahahahahahahaha!! *cough* *hack* *sputter*
"You know what I've discovered about myself since I've been in college? I am SO all about Ultimate Frisbee."
*laughs*
I love Family Guy.
Just went and saw Narnia with Shannon.
Now, there are ton of Narnia reviews out there, so I shall not bandy about with words.
IT WAS AWESOME.
A good Disney movie? Say it ain't so!
For most of the first bit of the movie I was near the verge of tears, having known these characters since my childhood.
So yeah, the Christian undertones of C.S. Lewis are not lost on me.
So what?
It was fucking great. It's a really good movie, and a really great story.
On a totally different note... I think my constitutions for toxins has been lowered drastically, probably due to the fact that I've destroyed my body. If you've played Dungeons and Dragons, let's say I got hit with a spell that lowers my resistance to toxins from a respectable 14 Con to an 8.
I really FEEL those cigarettes, those shots of vodka, everything. I feel it. I mean, I've always enjoyed feeling my body die a little, because it reminded me I was alive, but hell...
I don't think I need those reminders anymore.
And on a totally different note again: These love bites I've somehow picked up on my one dance-night this weekend are still boggling me.
I kinda remember being a meat-sandwich between pretty good looking people on the dance floor. That much I can understand... (though I suppose good looking is relative to your level of intoxication)
But how did this happen without me remembering? Granted, my memory is very, very hazy. But you'd think if someone managed to bite my shoulder with a shirt on and all I'd remember. Freakin me out.
Listened in on a jam today... good times. I really need to get over this "I'm way too out of practise/have performance anxiety" bullshit and just play. I think I'm going to buy a keyboard in the coming months, I've been finding myself tapping out keys on my desk without a keyboard... and it's just...
Well, sad.
Movie tonight, gonna be good.
I know I keep bitching about this, and it's kinda old... but I've been thinking about it and I think that... well... perhaps there are heroes in our age, and that we just don't *recognize* them anymore.
Just a thought...
I also really want to take what little sense of hope for the world that I have left, go to the Middle East, and work aid there till I'm sick of the world.
I read an article once about a soldier that commited suicide, a soldier who graduated from West Point with a degree in Military Ethics, and left on his note that he could no longer fight an honourless war. I want to go out there and follow up on that, see if anyone still has that kind of ... sense about them anymore.
Or if they've had to numb themselves (or were never ingrained with any sense of decency in the first place) to remain sane.
I don't know... I give it a few years before I pick up and do it. There's some things I yet want to look into around these parts.
Because I have a feeling that if I go, I probably won't be coming back.
It's not about the honour and the glory, there's none to find... it's about finding out for myself these things I've read about for years upon years are true. And it's about respect for Good People who have the courage to be there when when things are clearly insane and tough it out.
Palantir Dodgeball... it's an idea I'm obsessed with realizing right now. =D
Anyway... I think YellowPort just became my newest favourite clothing store.
They use recycled truck denim! It's genius! Dur-a-ble.
Spotted at: Treehugger
In addition:
SON OF A BITCH! Someone had installed a Keylogger on my computer and I JUST noticed it.
ANGER.
I was reading BBC when I came across this.
"According to a report in the journal Ethology, when a woman is at the most fertile part of the menstrual cycle her armpit odour is at its mildest.
But when she is having a period, and not ready for pregnancy, the smell changes to an acute, repellent odour."
That explains EVERYTHING.
It occured to me that it's been a while since I've posted anything from my sketchbook. Since I fixed my scanner today...
Here's one I did on the bus.
And here's another I did at home. The shading's unintentional, I swear. I set the scanner to 24-bit RGB and it picked up the faint colour differentiations of my penciling... and couple that with the blinding sunlight streaming in partway into the scanner (despite my attempts to block it by covering the scanner with my t-shirt)... it turned out like this. I like it. I was going to shade it in Painter anyway and this kind of saved me the effort. Kinda. It's also very long.
I haven't worked with a live model (these are just out of my head, hence the lack of detail) in a while. I should get someone to pose for me. But then I'd probably just whip out my camera. Teehee.
Tired.
Half-assed that article, despite really digging the subject matter. I even saw Sunil Gupta at that Russian restaurant downtown after his talk at his exhibition while I was getting myself a martini and chatting with my friends over some dinner.
Le sigh.
I really fucking hate my computer right now. To the extent of loathing. That's uncommon, given the amount of love I have for this rig.
*grumbles*
Love, hate... it's all the same.
Le fuck.
The top ten list I promised is up on the Charlatan's website. And the website got a swank new layout. Swank still being pretty ugly (I hate black and yellow as a colour combination, but that's my own view) but it's navigable and pretty hot as far as the layout goes... since it's powered by Mambo.
Mambo is okay in my book. Not my favourite news script ever, but hey, whatever. They left the Mambo logo in their mini-icon though. If I knew who put it up I'd give them a piece of my mind.
It is, I must admit, hundreds of times better than the old layout, which was near impossible to navigate without the extensive use of Google.
Google is every net-bound individual's best friend.
Now I gotta sleep. Or rewrite that bloody thing.
I once told someone... the only way you'd ever lose me as a friend is if you decided that yourself.
Things like that sounds so much less improbable when they come from my own mouth.
*le sigh*
curled up in my dark room listening to Nick Drake and just sooo... relaxed. but melancholy. but relaxed.
I have this thing where I fall inextricably in love with people I can't have. Usually because they're dead. Or someone whose friendship I'd rather not lose. Or because of they live far away. Or something.
I'm a foolish person.
But right now...
*le sigh*
Oh Nick Drake.
If you own a Nikon that's not digital...
Damn, I really should get reading done, but I've got far too many things swirling about in this head of mine.
This lounge does that. Someone says something great (followed by hours and hours of spewed crap from assorted individuals engaging in their gossip) and my mind wraps around it for hours.
Except right now I'm not really wrapped around anything that's been said in here, but rather stewing over course material and such.
Interesting times.
Days are getting shorter for me... nights longer. Waking up at midnight and starting my routine then does that, I suppose.
I really need to hand in that last essay from last semester.
The conversation in here is turning to music, so I'll bid the computer adieu and get back into the swing of things.
Cheerio.
Oh em eff gee.
I don't even want to go see the Bloodrayne video. What is with Uwe Boll and his constant attempts to ruin video games for me?
He's already made movies of:
House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
And he's making movies of:
Dungeon Siege
Hunter: The Reckoning
Far Cry
Postal
Fear Effect
*incoherent angry muttering*
Pants on fire.
So I lied... I told you a top-ten list was coming this week here. It isn't. But there still will be one.
It'll just be published elsewhere, unless they reject it.
In which case it *will* come up here.
In any case I'll link you to it when it's up. Or scan it, if it gets to paper form.
PLEASE NOTE: I broke the templates for the website. Please be patient with me while I fix it. It may not return to the way it looked and I may just stabilize this default template until I can get a full-swing layout into the site. I look at it as a sort of incentive to actually get the damned site done for once.
I made a long list of quotes for my Facebook... ridiculously long... but I thought I might post them here. Read them, think about them, or just enjoy them, whatever works best for you.
I will start this long ass list with this quote:
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
I made a long list of quotes for my Facebook... ridiculously long... but I thought I might post them here. Read them, think about them, or just enjoy them, whatever works best for you.
I will start this long ass list with this quote:
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
"O Freunde, nicht diese Töne,
sondern lasst uns angenehmere
anstimmen, und freundenvollere."
- Ludwig van Beethoven's Introduction
to Symphony No. 9 Op. 125,
Final Chorus "Ode To Joy"
"Helloooooo! La-la-la...."
- Seinfeld
"Now I am become Death, the Destroyer of worlds."
- Robert Oppenheimer, quoting from the Bhagavad-Gita
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
- Litany against Fear
"Is God troubled?"
"The sins of this Universe would trouble anyone."
- One Fishspeaker to another
"There exists no separation between gods and men; one blends softly casual into the other."
- Proverbs of Muad'dib
"I know the evil of my ancestors because I am those people. The balance is delicate in the extreme. I know that few of you who read my words have ever thought about your ancestors this way. It has not occurred to you that your ancestors were survivors and that survival itself sometimes involved savage decisions, a kind of wanton brutality which civilized humankind works very hard to suppress. What price will you pay for that suppression? Will you accept you own extinction?"
- The Stolen Journals
"The problem with leadership is inevitably: Who will play God?"
- Muad'Dib From the Oral History
"The singular multiplicity of this universe draws my deepest attention. It is a thing of ultimate beauty."
- The Stolen Journals
"In all of my universe I have seen no law of nature, unchanging and inexorable. This universe presents only changing relationships which are sometimes seen as laws by short-lived awareness. These fleshy sensoria which we call self are ephemera withering in the blaze of infinity, fleeting aware of temporary conditions which confine our activities and change as our activities change. If you must label the absolute, use its proper name: Temporary."
- The Stolen Journals (Oh how the strictest Aristoteleans would despise this one!)
"Explosions are also compressions of time. Observable changes in the natural universe all are explosive to some degree and from some point of view; otherwise you would not notice them. Smooth Continuity of change, if slowed sufficiently, goes without notice by observers whose time/attention span is too short. Thus, I tell you, I have seen changes you would never have marked."
- Leto II
"Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed."
- Iósif Vissariónovich Stálin
"Может ли сила сотни превышать силу тысячи? Может. И превышает, когда сотня организована."
Translation: "Can the power of a hundred be greater than the power of a thousand? It can. And it does, when the hundred is organized."
- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
"При социализме все будут управлять по очереди и быстро привыкнут к тому, чтобы никто не управлял."
Translation: "Under socialism all will govern in turn and will soon become accustomed to no one governing."
- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
"When imperialism feels weak, it resorts to brute force. The attacks on Venezuela are a sign of weakness, ideological weakness. Nowadays almost nobody defends neoliberalism. Up until three years ago, just Fidel [Castro] and I raised those criticisms at Presidential meetings. We felt lonely, as if we infiltrated those meetings."
- Hugo Chávez during his closing speech at the World Social Forum in Porto Alegre, Brazil. January 31, 2005.
"Privatization is a neoliberal and imperialist plan. Health can’t be privatized because it is a fundamental human right, nor can education, water, electricity and other public services. They can’t be surrendered to private capital that denies the people from their rights."
- Hugo Chávez during his closing speech at the World Social Forum in Porto Alegre, Brazil. January 31, 2005.
(Personal note: Interesting to see how right and need are often interchanged in today's usage)
"Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado."
Translation: "Better to die on your feet than live on your knees."
- Emiliano Zapata
"I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man."
- Ernesto Rafael "Che" Guevara de la Serna, last words attributed to him to Sergeant Jaime Terán, his executioner
"I believe the member has committed a terminological inexactitude."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, to accuse another member of the House of lying. He is the only recorded person to ever do so without censure.
"It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, and the exact reason I'm not in Journalism
"If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, Speech after the German invasion of the Soviet Union in June 1941
"Never in the field of human conflict has so much, been owed by so many, to so few."
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, Of the RAF in the Battle of Britain, 20 August, 1940
"The very first thing the President did was to show me the new Presidential Seal, which he had just redesigned. He explained, 'The seal has to go everywhere the President goes. It must be displayed upon the lectern when he speaks. The eagle used to face the arrows but I have re-designed it so that it now faces the olive branches… what do you think?' I said, 'Mr. President, with the greatest respect, I would prefer the American eagle's neck to be on a swivel so that it could face the olive branches or the arrows, as the occasion might demand.'"
- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, to Truman of his new Presidential Seal, 1946
"I can't think of words. I feel no emotion about anything. I don't want to laugh or cry. I'm numb-dead inside."
- Nick Drake
"Art is dangerous. It is one of the attractions: when it ceases to be dangerous you don't want it."
- Duke Ellington
"Most of the faces I see on the covers of American music magazines are just dreadful— people with nothing to offer the world at all."
- Morrissey
"I once bought a Manchester United hat, which I think was 12 shillings, and somebody ran up behind me and pulled it off and just ran ahead. I thought, 'It's a very cruel world, I'm not prepared for this'. And I decided to get my revenge on society."
- Morrissey
"He's not even the best drummer in The Beatles."
- John Lennon on Ringo Starr
"I am alive and well and unconcerned about the rumors of my death. But if I were dead, I would be the last to know."
- Paul McCartney
"Somebody said to me,"But the Beatles were anti-materialistic." That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, "Now, let's write a swimming pool."
- Paul McCartney... and... HAH!
"EQ is equalization— when you want to add a bit to the top or roll a bit off the bottom. It’s bass, treble, and middle, but equalization is the posh way of saying it. I have a very high EQ— something like 3,000 hertz. If I think too hard, my brain hertz."
- George Harrison
"Rap music is just computerised crap. I listen to Top of the Pops and after three songs I feel like killing someone."
- George Harrison
"Friends are all souls that we’ve known in other lives. We’re drawn to each other. That’s how I feel about friends. Even if I’ve only known them for a day, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to wait till I’ve known them two years, because anyway we have met somewhere before, you know."
- George Harrison
Thanks everyone! I'm sure no one really knows why I'm saying thanks... at least not yet.
Here it is: You guys have made me a star in the last year. Since it's beginning last March, this website has accumulated 40107 hits in the year of 2005.
That's right. 40107 hits.
Last month alone ended up with 469 Unique Visitors! 469 different people accessed this page in the month of December, 2005. Possibly for holiday reasons, I'll never really know, but all I can say is... WOW.
It's a little shocking at first to think about it. Very shocking, actually, when I realize that many people are reading about my personal life. But thankfully, since these are only the surface of who I am, I do not really have overwhelming worries.
(Plus, I exercise extreme creative license here from time to time. Who's to say what here is true and what isn't?)
Anyway, I'm just flattered.
I've upgraded to Movabletype 3.2 to reduce spam. Another thing, the layout I had designed before did not work so well in practise, and I am looking to redesign it. With school and everything though,
