flyingandwritinganddying
I'm still in my depressed little world... it's been a journey. Nostalgia has been hitting me at all the right moments, and I keep going back to the little things in the past that brought me joy.
And all the little things that brought me pain.
That's what they are, after all. Little things... my life is not nearly so important for me to say any of the things that have built my emotional make-up are anything more than little.
But nonetheless, they're there, and they happened.
I've been reading posts I wrote back on Healthy Frowns back in 2002. It seems to me that I wrote better then than I do now.
I suppose I wrote better when I started this blog... and had far more dedication, if I didn't feel like looking that far back.
But I do.
I'm praying that this self-hate and absolute disgust for everything in my own life that has sprung up on me once again rekindles my passion for writing absolutely depressing shit that people somehow enjoy reading.
I justify my life through the happiness of others.
Perhaps that's not the way to see the world. It certainly was how I once lived. Until things happened and my world turned upside down.
I don't know if I do anymore.
Honestly, it may have been over a year now... but I don't know what I'm doing in life anymore. Or what I care about. I don't know if I have any values left.
Can you help me, mister policeman? I've been robbed of my sanity by your fellows.
Please give it back to me.