nowbeginsthetrialsofjune
June starts today, and looking back over the last months' blog entries, they weren't all too interesting, besides the one where I recounted my brief adventure as a male model. *grins*
Maybe because I have nothing spectacular to say. The last month has been particularly devoid of philosophical thoughts, maybe becaus of my morose attitude, or maybe because I just don't have the inspiration given that I'm sitting on my ass most of the time here at home.
Either or, still, not too appealing.
It's been a while since I've actually let myself go. Maybe that's why my hours have become as they are now, from 6PM to whenever I choose to go to bed in the morning. I can let myself go in the late hours without any fear of the overwatch.
Not that letting myself go has much substance to it, nor is it much to see. Just a bit of dance, a bit of ritual, and a lot of pleasantness, maybe some meditation, and a lot of thinking...
Right now the thought going through my head is one that's not at all unfamiliar... it's the thought that... if I know that I am capable of reaching out and touching someone from a great distance, to be able to share thoughts, why I've been neglecting it and shunning that side of me which for some reason I fear and associate with unsurmountable pain.
I think the moment I stop being addicted to being depressed I shall cease being emo, which would be, most would say, a very good thing. The one addiction I haven't really kicked yet.
One thing I wonder about the people in Humanities is how many of them actually take the spiritualism to heart, and how many of them continue viewing it purely academically. And I also wonder which is the 'right' way, really. I've been a spiritual being for as long as I can remember, at least, for as long as my romantic mind can remember, I am quite certain I wasn't at all spiritually inclined in my childhood, but it doesn't mean I understand it, which is what I'm trying to do...
I wonder.
I still need to see Waking Life, I think I'll watch that tomorrow. I've had my copy for a ridiculously long time and I've never found the occasion to watch it.
Anyway, I shall depart now before I waste my night away typing silly notions, and rather go back to my thoughts on the interwoven fabric of life and similar nonsense.