confessionaltime
Disclaimer: This is me drunk and honest. Sucks to be you, if I rip on you. Hah.
I might as well confess this to everyone... I confess it enough. I miss sex. A year has gone by now (well, not really a year, I had some pretty wild nights in the summer recovering from my relationship with Steph) since I took my vow of celibacy. A school year is far more accurate.
I confess it now in so many words: I miss it. Celibacy sucks.
But it did teach me a lot of things did not rely simply on sex. And I was more than happy to enjoy what time I had outside of it.
For the better part of the year, this has not been a problem. I needed serious time to think about my relationship with Steph and not just be having sex to try and forget about it, because that's not what it was about.
I cared about her.
And I betrayed her.
Ahh, my history of violence. A shameful history. Ask me about it sometime and I'll tell you. It's a sad, sad story. And no, I did not beat my girlfriend. Not at all. I heard that rumour going around somewhere... let me clarify: She was the world to me. I did not harm a single hair on her head. I simply made a bad judgement call when someone insulted both my friend and her at the same time.
But all's well. I live now a life of debauchery without the sex. Hey. Drinking and smoking. Can life get better?
Oh wait, right. I could not be engaging in a vow of celibacy. Time's up. I'm not thinking about Steph anymore. I can have sex without thinking about her. This is good.
Jaco Pastorius is in my ears. Thank you Kelly. Damn. I love the bass. Makes me wish I could play more than just piano. An underappreciated instrument, though... Piano is so beautiful. More people need to learn to love it. Rock tends to use it just to lay an outlying beat.
So the end of the year is here. Classes are over... things are done. So what are my reflections about this year? I'll list ten.
Number one: FUCK roommates. I'm living alone next year. I had two this year. I signed up for one. The one I signed up for is totally cool. So is his girlfriend. But I am not living with other people ever again. I get enough sex-talk as it is. I don't need to worry about going home because my roomies may be having sex. Though it does afford me the chance to make fun of Caroline all the time, since in all honesty I do let her live in my room. This is the only upside.
Number two: Celibacy is for idiots. I am an idiot. Samanas... idiots. Either that or they are off having sex while we're not looking. I would rather think... idiots. Sex is great. Sorry to say, but I miss it. I've learned a lot, but never again.
Number three: I will MISS a lot of people next year. A LOT of people will be gone. This is sad. I will miss them. It makes me consider staying in Ottawa third year just so I can see them again.
Number four: Things go missing when you're in residence. I miss my All Things Must Pass album, which has been missing for a while. I bought that not long before George Harrison died too... so it makes me ultra-sad.
Number five: I need to work out. My body is losing it all. I am a flaccid pile of waste, as it stands now. I epitomize laziness. I can go from skinny to a little less skinny in a day, depending on whether not I had a meal that day. That's sad.
Number six: (almost wrote number sex, you know where my mind's going now that it's near summer break) I am rediscovering my bisexuality. I'm not sure whether or not this is a good thing. Nonetheless... whatev. I live with it.
Number seven: Fuck celibacy. Oh right, I said that already. Music... music is good. There is nothing wrong with having 50+ Gigs of music... and another bunch waiting soon as your ex Fed-Exes (haha, ex) your Hard Drive back to you. That's totally awesome.
Number eight: Some people are humongous assholes, but are nice guys. For example... myself. Or... my friends. Dave, for example. S'cool though, they mean well. That's all that matters. (for the record, Dave is one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet, he's just bitterly honest... which I admire more than anything... but I'll be damned if he's a gentleman... which is how I like it)
Number nine: Booze... booze is good. There was not a night in the first semester when I didn't at least have a shot in me. This was a good thing, trust me.
Number ten: Last but not least... I love them all. Humanities... I mean. I'd pretty much (with rare exceptions) take a bullet for any one of them. And my professors... god... my professors. Let me PLEASE be like them eventually down the road of awesome.
Anyway... that's my life. I am going to bed now, cause I wish not to think anymore. I will go to bed listening to good music. This is a moment to savour.